Be still my heart

The best and most-fitting word I can use to sum up my 2015 would be this golden, four-letter verb : WAIT.  My patience has been tested for the past couple of years (I should have really gotten used to it by now) but 2015 was hands down, the hardest.

I had a clear plan of what my 2015 was going to look like. I already visualized it and hoped it would come to fruition but unfortunately, it didn’t materialize. The changes threw me off and redirected me to a harder, longer route. Basically, it’s like this :

Honestly, I am already aware that this is how often God works but it’s totally different when you are IN the situation.

The stress of fixing my papers, submitting my application, the interviews, my classes, and the phone calls surprisingly didn’t get to me; I was motivated to get everything done. What set me off was when the only option I have, the only roadblock that separates me from my family was to wait. It will be easier if I am given a specific waiting period but in my case, I am left with nothing. I really couldn’t do anything but to be still.

The circumstances weren’t favorable, too. Refugee crisis, terrorist attacks, visas on temporary hold, etc.  I tried my luck on temporary work but the most convenient I could find still gave me no motion. All opportunities pointed to one place : HERE. It’s as if I am told to stay in a corner and wait for my name to be called until God knows when.

Even though a chunk of my year was spent on waiting, there were exciting highlights too. I went to Prague, watched BSB live, became an English teacher, and found a new home church! Not to mention the character-building experiences God brought my way. My dependence on Jesus grew, my trust fortified, my generosity renewed, and my acts of service developed. My family also became more open to Jesus and I get to witness transformation–I would have missed out on this if my plans prevailed. It also opened doors of opportunities for me to share the gospel. See, I may have been told to be still but it doesn’t mean I have to be passive.

I do not know where I’m headed this 2016 but I’m certain God will be there and His promises will be fulfilled—I can feel it. I look forward to finishing this race I started this 2015 and I know, all the waiting will be worth it.

Happy New Year! Frohes Neues Jahr! ❤


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