thoughts or something like that

My mind has been bombarded this week with a rollercoaster of thoughts. Some bad, some confusing, but most were good. As much as I want to elaborate and articulate on these, I don’t have the energy (worse, words) to put it into writing. I am probably getting worse at prose. 

What I can do though is to let my thoughts flow and type as they go.

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There are certain people in your life that will say they know you until they really don’t. 

Long distance relationships are not exclusive for couples. And time difference is not an excuse.

Waiting for someone is better than settling. 

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not prideful. It does not insist on its own way. (1 Corinthians 13)

Without love, I am nothing. Without Him, I am nothing. In Him I move, live and have my being. 

A girl needs a hype woman. I am happy I have one nearby.

Talking about God to a teenager has to be simple, direct, and practical. 

You plant seeds and He will harvest them. 

Relational, not legal nor ritual.

It was over even before it began. 

No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment. Otherwise, the new piece will pull away from the old, making the tear worse.  And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins. (Mark 2:21-22)

We are in constant change but some parts remain.

The more you know God, the more you know yourself. 

It’s so nice to come home to a father sleeping on the bed, to a mother baking a cake and to a brother taking a one-minute computer break to make his presence felt.

At the end of the day, I’m glad I can always retreat to the arms of my Papa. 

We are constantly being molded by Christ through the situations and the people around us.

Five second hugs do wonders. 

We have been created uniquely, made wonderfully. Embrace what makes us.. us. Yes, we are constantly molded but molded into the Christ-version of us. Not into the version the people have in their minds. May we never forget the things that make us distinct.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

To the love that sets us free. 



The Sunday Currently : 2019

EXT. Neighborhood. 9 in the am.

INT. Kitchen. Drinking Coffee. Typing.

Zoom to:


reading Matthew 28. I’ve been reading the book of Matthew since last year, won’t say I’m stuck but there’s just a lot to meditate and process.

writing this entry.

listening to Do Whoop That Thing by Lauryn Hill

thinking of my dream last night and my cancelled long run. Damn you dead egg cells

smelling the freshly brewed coffee

wishing for the sun

hoping that I get good grades this semester

wearing a very comfortable pjs

loving my mental state at the moment.

wanting a rest and a good sleep.

needing a shower and a fresh perspective.

feeling tired


Twenty Eighteen

2018 started with an operation and the busyness came after : school, uni, babysit, babysit number two, work, sports, friends, etc etc. I was managing my time well. I was so good at balancing everything but there was one thing I unfortunately neglected : my faith. I unknowingly put it on my to-do list whereas it should’ve been my top priority or not even be on a list. 

But God is good. He never wanted me out His umbrella of grace. Towards the end of the year, I got breakthrough and healing. It was like taking my baptism and declaring Him as my Lord all over again. I’m grateful I went through this lukewarm situation ’cause then, I wouldn’t learn. I feel my identity in Him again. I feel myself.

It’s all God’s grace that I was able to travel to different cities last year. It was His grace that strengthened my family. All the joy, love and laughter in our household is all because of Him. I found a new family. I’m gaining a new sister. I have work stability because of His guidance. He has been giving us His provision so that we were never in lack.

2018 wasn’t my year, it was His, again. 

You don’t know what you got till it’s gone

… and so I tell my summer break.

Almost three months of uni-free (with project submissions in between) — I made sure to enjoy it to the fullest, before everything goes batshit busy again. Sure I did spent a huge chunk of time working and streaming movies + series on Netflix and on other streaming websites, but I can definitely say, what a well-deserved summer vacation. Here’s why :

Continue reading You don’t know what you got till it’s gone

entry xi

Back to my Sunday program. Here’s what I’ve been currently up to:


1. A Quiet Place. Damn son that movie was i-n-t-e-n-s-e. Emily Blunt is a bad ass.

Ähnliches Foto2. Beychella. Glad to have watched her whole performance before they took the link down. Pumped up for OTR II.

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Actual footage of me during beychella stream



n-o-t-h-i-n-g. I’ve got a pile of books lined up for reading but they’re all just stacked up on my desk. However, I’m gonna read this link after I posting this.


my Friday sports gig with my new found friend, Alyson! God blessed me with a new friend who also turns out to be Filipina!! She’s also into sporty stuff and other things that I’m also into.


proud of my Tita-self. I took my butt out on a Friday night which I don’t normally do, all thanks to Aly who made a Friday plan sound so exciting. I’m glad I did go out in the end ’cause I enjoyed a relaxing Friday outside the comforts of my home with a good company.


on forgiveness. My church friends and I talked about this list of people we want to forgive and ended up praying for them. On my way home, that’s all I could think about.I only pray that I will be able to express them to the people directly but for now, prayers and surrending them are enough.


for my second attempt at 21k. I plan to finish it this year under two hours. The weather isn’t cooperating so I haven’t had the chance to run longer than one hours. Let’s see if I can reach my goal.


new facial products. I just bought a serum, toner, and new moisturizers for my hyperpigmentation problem. My stingy self is mad. Haha! I wish I could get my young, teenage skin back 😦

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See you next time!





Update for the interested

My english is slowly deteriorating, all thanks to writing a 10-page paper in German and speaking in Tagalog non-stop. I may have put this entry off for a couple of times ’cause its hard for me to write and think in three languages all at the same time. But now, I can do that since I’ve got a free day and no paper to write! So quick updates for those who are interested.

#1 I can finally smell again!

I had a sinus operation a month ago and I’m on the last phase of my recovery. The first two weeks were terrible, the following two were bearable. On several occasions, I told people, myself included, how I regret having that operation. Now not anymore. I can finally appreciate the advantages of my operations like let’s say… finally smelling things. I have gotten used to the idea of having a bad sense of smell for so long, nonchalantly accepted it even. However this improvement I’m experiencing right is definitely worth the terrible post op nosebleeds  etc etc. It will still take another month for everything to switch back to its renewed state plus routine checks every three months after today, but hell yeah, I have a new nose!!!

Another win : it’s winter and my nose isn’t blocked anymore!

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#2 I survived my first semester

That’s right. Yo girl survived six months of seminars, five papers, four presentations and one exam. One down, five to go. Can someone give me a pat on the back?

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#3 Officially a regular employee

I’m apparently doing a fine job and I continue to do so since I like where I’m working right now. I honestly can’t handle a stressful job on top of  everything plus I have a super nice boss, what’s more to ask?

#4 Joy in this new season

The beginning of the year has been nothing but awesome, despite a few drawbacks (like my operation because that wasn’t honestly a joyful experience haha). My brothers and I are getting along really well and we’ve actually grown closer, which is THE BEST. My brother moved out of the house as well which means I’m now the eldest at home, that equates to my parents watching my every move. More importantly, this is a good time for me to build my relationship with my parents and it’s going really well. I can’t honestly ask for more besides … heheh

By the way, I’m currently obsessed with Black Panther, hence the gifs. One last to end this post:

Bildergebnis für black panther gif wakanda forever




Delayed year ender

Year 2 and this time, I finally achieved compiling daily videos throughout the year. As much as I had fun taking them, the editing process was a whole different story. I was afraid my computer will just give up and crash. I almost gave up halfway through but we are no quitters, right?

My 2017 wasn’t boring, hence this upbeat video.

Enjoy watching. Don’t blink or you’ll miss. Happy 2018.


Now time to fast for the year.


This is the continuation of the entry I did five-six months ago (click here), where I sum up all the highlights of each month. I’ve been big on keeping notes of all the things I went through this year. I took daily videos, kept weekly notes throughout the year, and now this entry. I feel like I truly lived my 2017 and kept each day intact. No loopholes.

That being said, here’s how my months looked like.


I was still on a high from my Coldplay concert and a week after, I found out that I won two tickets to see the Global Citizen Festival in Hamburg!! Days before the concert, I got another email saying they are giving me two more tickets. I was never lucky with raffles and for the first time ever, I won. But… Yes, the big “but”. 

Global Citizen Festival coincides with the G-20 event and the city wasn’t as safe as it was at the moment. My paranoid Filipino parents thought it was wise and best to stay at home. They even told us, “You already watched Coldplay and there’s a telecast!”. And because I am an obedient daughter aka I’m living under their roof and paying no bills, I gave in. G-20 was chaotic and I’m actually glad I stayed at home…. I realized this a day after.

It wasn’t all about missed opportunities though. I got my acceptance letter at the university where I am studying right now! I saw their email while on the train in Berlin, on our way home to Hamburg. I was with my Mom when I got the email and we were already having such a good day, just the two of us. The acceptance letter is the cherry on top of the cake.

It’s rare to have a personal time with my mom and this is a trip I’ll always cherish. Hope we could do this again in 2018.


I passed my German test which means, I am officially bilingual. I also finished my German classes and busied myself passing all the necessary documents to my university. It was such a stressful process because of the delayed release of my results but everything worked out in the end.

I also had more time hanging out with friends. Great timing too since it was summer and I can enjoy going out without freezing!

Abbie also pushed me to ride the rollercoaster when we went to Hamburger Dome. and I pushed her riding the high seesaw thing. True friendship.  We spent most of our money riding on all these other unnecessary rides but nevertheless, got the most fun out of it. It was a great day.


I started uni and recorded my first day here.


UNI kept me busy and the first few weeks were a struggle. I had to make so much effort in picking up information on all ten seminars while working on a presentation about a media theory that I have to do in German! I always underestimate myself though. I give myself less credit so when I was finally done with my presentation, waves of realization hit me. I am already where I’m supposed to be. God gave me the skills and I have to stop worrying. With a little time, I already accomplished a lot. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength.

And so the pressure went away. And away it went.

Another highlight of my month is seeing my second favorite band ever: Phoenix. I watched them four-five years ago back in Manila and the moment I learned about them coming to Hamburg, I immediately made plans. I was ready to go alone but fortunately, my previous German teacher now friend learned about my plans and decided to join me. She’s cool as hell.


My Mom had her operation, my church kept me as well busy, I was beginning to enjoy UNI and I had my first German interview at a big production company…

and I got accepted!


It was a spiritually fulfilling month for me as I end the year celebrating with my church family and our growing youth group. The church’s youth group is a baby amongst three hyperactive, willing-to-serve children of God. Seeing it grow in front of my eyes brought such a warm feeling and I know, this is what God intends for us, for me to do. I can’t wait to see it flourish in 2018.

2017 is another character building moment, leading up to the core of my being : serving Him.

I can’t serve God if I don’t recognize the gravity of His love, thus my 2014.

I can’t serve God if I’m impatient, my 2015 journey.

I can’t serve God if I have other idols, my 2016.

And I can’t serve God if I’m not selfless, my 2017.

See, my year is all about giving time, effort, and putting the needs of others above my own. I learned how to serve without grudges. I thank God for the opportunity especially at home to serve my parents willingly. With service comes understanding too and wisdom from God is truly a gift.

And even though 2017 is another trying moment for me and my family, especially with my Dad having a brain stroke and my Mama having her operation, I still consider these as a blessing because it was a family’s wake up call. I experienced disappointments too but kept my eyes focused on the Lord. I learned how to just lay it all down and offer the littlest of what I have… and yet God decided (and continue) to shower me with the biggest of what He has. What can I say? I serve an awesome God. 🙂

I am starting my 2018 with a big heart and I can’t wait to do what I’m called for. Happy New Year!




Frohe Weihnachten

I’m playing Coldplay’s Christmas Light while typing this entry and I feel all loved up inside since Christmas is my favorite celebration.

For me, Christmas means home. I always look forward to this day because when I was still in the Philippines, I always come and visit my family, if I have a visa. Now that I’m finally settled here in Hamburg, I don’t have to go through the stress of visa application and working my ass off just to buy plane tickets. I don’t have to worry at all because I am home and boy, did I have a wonderful celebration.

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The setup

I took care of our Christmas table this year and printed Christmas menu for everyone’s entertainment.

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Private jokes here and there

Filipino celebration means having food that will last for weeks. This year’s a little different since we didn’t do the traditional Filipino feast and went the other Asian route: Hotpot!

That was a new, fun experience. Our pot wasn’t boiling at first and it was a test of patience. Small arguments happened because hello, hangry people. We almost gave up and took the big pot in the kitchen so that we can do the normal boiling. Only to find out that we’re just doing it wrong. Haha! We brought the pot back to the table and finished all the food we shoved in our pot. Everyone needed tea afterward.

After dinner came the main source of entertainment: Karaoke. Filipino Christmas parties would be incomplete without it. We sang our voices away until the clock strikes 12. I was mostly looking forward to it because….

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Overflowing gifts!! I was fixing our tree hours before our dinner and got super duper excited arranging all the gifts. I am proud to share that I controlled myself and didn’t shake the boxes which belonged to me.

We did our yearly exchange gift and unwrapped our other gifts afterward. My best gift this year was something from my mom’s, particularly because of its backstory.

Me wondering what could that gift be

My family imposed that we should all have our Christmas wish list so everyone would get what they wanted. They said that’s generally how Germans are and it would be nice (and actually more practical) to adapt it. I made my own list and asked my mom to buy me an ink for my printer. Three days before Christmas, I saw that my mom gave my brother a new, huge comforter. On top of it, my brother forgot to do his wishlist so this was a surprise. Because I was P-E-T-T-Y, I told my mom that I don’t want an ink anymore. I want to be surprised! That’s it. That’s my wish. I wanted to be like…

It could be anything though and that was the beauty of it. Fast forward to Christmas night, I got my gift last and saw this huge box. I opened it and then..

It was a printer. Haha. But wait there’s more…. I can not only print, but also scan and copy! A student’s dream. Hahaha

IMG_0693.JPGThe best part is.. I was totally surprised! It never crossed my mind that she will buy me such a gift. For this reason alone, this printer is the best material gift I got this Christmas.

Family, however, still remains my most favorite present every year. Aside from our annual family photo, these photos below mean a lot to me since my younger brother joined our celebration for the first time ever and didn’t lock himself up in his room. His presence was felt and he even made something for dinner. I am glad that his annoying teenage phase is over and I am praying that it’ll be the end of it.

And since here in Germany, we celebrate Christmas officially for two days (the 26th is the 2nd Christmas Day), my greeting would still be on time. And not to use the cliché caption, I’ll just use another language….

Von unserer Familie zu euch wünsche ich euch eine frohe Weihnachten! Lass uns alle an den echten Sinn des Weihnachtfestes errinnern, die Geburt Jesus. Thank you Jesus for the gift of family ❤

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